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Application for Permission to Date My Daughter

thesmokinsmolder:

here ya go king! (and i know you really wanted to see this punz. hope it makes you smile a little)
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  1. Name: eugene fitzherbert    Age: 26
  2. Height: 5 ft 10 in.  
  3. Home Address: corona castle
  4. Boy Scout Rank: do i look like the kind of guy that was once a boy scout?
  5. How fast can you run 40 yrds? fast enough o_o  Two Miles?: faster than any of your royal guards can. ha. 
  6. Church you attend: uh…the one you guys drag me to sometimes
  7. In 50 words or less, explain what “DO NOT TOUCH MY DAUGHTER” means:

um, it means not to physically touch her body with any part   of my body. but….i think we’re past that concern, sir.  

    8. In 50 words or less, explain what “late” means to you:

it means “she’s LATE?! eugene, my daughter better NOT be pregnant!”           >:C

    9. Complete the following sentences:

        a. if i were to be shot, the last place i would want to be shot is in the: face

        b. if i were to be beaten, the last bone i would want to be broken is: nose

        c. the only thing i hope this application does not ask is: how many times                    i’ve been with the king’s daughter. 

        d. in the unfortunate of my untimely death, i would like my ashes scattered:            where ever your sweet crying daughter rapunzel decides would be find          with me. 

e. my greatest fear is: loosing the love of my life

   10. What do you want to be if you grow-up?: good thing i already am! phew.

   11. Have you ever been fingerprinted?  Yes:    No: X

   12. Do you have any identifying marks?  Yes: X  No: 

If so, explain and give location: i have numerous scars. they are on my   back, rib, right side, and chest

I hereby swear that all the information supplied above is true and correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of Death and/or Dismemberment. 

Signed: 

Thank you for your interest. Please allowed 4-6 years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not write or stop by. Any attempts at contact during the processing of this application could be hazardous to your health and/or cause serious personal injury. 

(okay, dad but i live in the same castle!)